2009 has not been a great year for my family. My attention has been entirely on my family and I have not had much time to sit down and write. It's a shame, because I really enjoy it. However, my son has started public school this September and I had a conversation with him that sparked my need to write.
He came home and we were talking. He told me, "I know Chinese." He proceeded to talk in gibberish. I had been expecting this. I remember it from when I was in school. I explained to him that if you don't really know the language and you pretend to know the language you are making fun of people. I told him that some people do it just to make fun of people and it isn't nice. "But why do they do it?" He asked.
Why? Some people do it because they don't know any better. Some people do it to be mean. Some people do it because they don't like people who look different.
My friend and I were talking this weekend and I told her..."I was ready, but I wasn't ready." Does that make sense. I lived it and I knew that there was a good possibility that I would have these conversations, but there was still the part of me that hoped I wouldn't have to.
The most important questions that I asked though were "Do you like it when people make fun of you?" and "Are you going to continue to do it?"
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5 comments:
The odd thing about this issue is that it almost seems that people treat it like a normal thing. It's like it's acceptable "joking" as long as it references asian culture. There are some many jokes, stories, rhymes about chinese people in particular I heard while growing up but yet I knew it was never o.k to make fun of black people or Native Canadians. I never even heard a so called "black joke" untill I was in high school. I don't understand the double standard.
Glad to see you writing again. I've been searching for other Korean adoptee bloggers, and yours is very good. I was also adopted in 1975 to a family in Minnesota. Hope you keep it up. My blog is http://adopteevoice.blogspot.com/
I'm sorry he's going through this at school. School aged children can be quite cruel sometimes.
Nell
Wow, deja vu. When our son was in kindergarten or first grade, I found him running him around the house one day pulling his eyes back saying "Chinese eyes! Chinese eyes!" What hurt me on his behalf the most was the fact that he didn't realize how hurtful it was to do that, and that he was really making fun of himself.
That was a serious wake-up call. I hadn't lived what you've lived, but until then, I was hopeful, too, that the conversation wouldn't be necessary. I know now it was just the beginning of many, many more.
Hope all is well with you and yours!
Hello,
I have read your blog before then noticed you were taking a break. I started to blog also because of the things 'some' adoptees from Korea want to stop ICA completely. This forced me to get back into the action.
I now know how to 'follow' someone so I will. We all need to learn from each other. I will start from the beginning of your blogging to 'catch up'. Look forward to hearing about your journey.
Don Gordon Bell
Korean War Baby
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